Friday

17 November 2017

— burnt orange in the southeast.

Good Morning All,

One of our correspondents in Washington, formerly from Winthrop, sent in this e-mail on November 8th:  Ron and Everyone, As it happens, Denmark and Ireland play two soccer matches in Ireland next week with the team with the most goals qualifying for the World  Cup. Ron, as it happens, I am on my way to Ireland, via ferry from Wales, and will be there through next week. This means, of course, that Denmark is screwed. Sorry about that Ron …. will report. 

I replied the same day:  Fortunately for you, no one got this e-mail except me, thus saving you both embarrassment and humiliation once the games are over. That said: five American dollars says Denmark outscores the wilting Irish. Are you on? Ron 

I heard nothing for six days, and then on the 14th: You are on….don’t pay out from the birdseed account!

Since I was not myself sure when the games would be played, I figured they probably took place on the 10th and 12th or something, and our D.C. correspondent was hoping to slip one by me. But happily, when I checked the Danish news on November 15, Denmark had made a stew of Ireland by a score of 5 to 1. Some fellow with the fairly Danish name of Christian Eriksen scored a hat trick. 

And the article said that with Ireland’s dream of making it to the World Cup for the first time in 16 years shattered, the Dane’s would be going to Russia come summer. That puzzled me. Our D.C. correspondent had said two games, but I could find no mention any where of a former game or a subsequent one. As such, I concluded that Ireland, after the 1 - 5 drubbing, said, “Well, the hell with playing the other game. You Danes are just too good for the likes of us; we know when we are beaten.”

Anyway, I need the five bucks. I play cyber-backgammon with our Detroit correspondent every Tuesday. He did not know the game until I taught it to him, and I managed to win the first game that we played for 15 cents a game plus a penny for each piece the loser had left on the board. Actually, I got up to over $5.00 early on, and it was beginning to look as though I’d be able to afford the trip to the Bahamas, after all.

But the past month has been a disaster. I think I’m down to being up only three bucks and change. Part of the problem is, he’s getting better at the game. He’s down to only two or three weak moves per match. But mostly he relies on these four strategies.

1. Luck. For example, when he has a man on the bar, and I have all my doors closed except door #1, and he needs a 1 and 6 on the dice, that’s what he gets. The odds of him getting a 1 and 6 are only once in every 18 rolls. But it doesn’t make any difference. He’ll get the 1 and 6 each time he needs it. You can almost take it to the bank.

2. More luck: Towards the end of the game, if the only possible way he can win is by getting boxcars (double 6’s) three times in a row, that’s what happens. (The odds are 1 in 36 of getting  boxcars even once.) And the worst of it is, he is in no way apologetic. He thinks it’s his due.

3. Religion: And maybe it is his due, because his pantywaist God out there in the Midwest is a lot easier on him than the hard-nosed New England God who still interferes with my fate even way over here in Denmark.

4. Religion: He is the son of a minister, which is also unfair.

Go Well and Stay Well,

Bhekaron

P.S. Two Holly snaps: